stupidity.

Every relationship can't always go the way u expect it to, that i know.

But why the feelings of sadness and unfairness..


Maybe because, i dislike waiting for him time and again..
Maybe because, i always wonder what to do whilst waiting for him to knock off from work..
Maybe because, i know i am losing precious sleep staying up waiting for a phone call from him ..
Maybe because, i've spent too much time just waiting.
Myabe because, it seems i have to sacrifice more than he does..
Maybe because, he is doing more talking than acting..
Maybe because, i'm so tired of the stoopid competition from so many other girls and ex-es in his life..

or maybe because, i am just not confident enough and i am just too demanding.

maybe?

i don't know.

but i know its tiring to wait till 2am for one to knock off from work.
every single night..

what is this?

stupidity. just plain stupidity.

i am stupid.

Kohsuke's Singapore

been a damn right crazy week. Kohsuke arrived in Singapore on 21/3 and from there on, i believed he and the bunch of us have travelled through the whole of Singapore.

i'm super tired albeit being super happy cos i know Kohsuke had a memorable time in Singapore and that he made good friends here. To my dear dear friends who selflessly gave your time to him and me, a big thank you along with a teddy bear hug.

Its not where you are; its who you are with. How aptly this phrase applies to one's stay in Singapore. So, had better make sure you have friends in a certain country before travelling there along especially if its to a super small country like Singapore where finding things to do and places to go are already chores on their own already. That being said, bringing Kohsuke around Singapore made me realise how beautiful Singapore and NUS actually is because i saw things from my foreign friend's point of view.

I appreciate Singapore and Sentosa (haha!) more than ever now. (: Singapore is fun on its own but it'll be so much more of a lovely trip if you had local friends with u. I bet Kohsuke will agree with me on that :D

Not forgetting the two beautiful ladies Jing Yi and San San who were with us too. Sorry babes, i only have the pics ah yi sent me in the computer i'm using now. Will upload your beautiful pictures soon :D

Yo! We sent Sentosa and took many crazy pictures! The best part would be the night show - Songs of the Seas- where we were all seating under the heavy rain watching the laser-show! I'll never forget that pitiful sight of us under the heavy rain all drenched and cold whilst trying to enjoy the show :)

After the show, we went to get some beer and cam-whored on the roof of Vivo-city! Very ideal place to just chill with your friends! I think, that was the highlight of Kohsuke's whole trip to Singapore we just had crazy fun, beer and lots of rendition of 'Hardo-gay' from Ah Yi and Kohsuke. :) Tanoshi-katta neh. Kohsuke said he has been to so many countries and Singapore is, insofar, the best country he has ever been to. :) Wahhhh, it made us swell so much with Singaporean pride that we gave him a Kallang-wave. *grins.

Then it was soon time for Kohsuke to leave Japan. I still can't believe how all of us made it to the airport by 8am! (: Amazing mind-over-body effort peeps :) Without you guys, everything will not be a s special as how it had turned out to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you guys :) very very much. Kaimyo-In students two thumbs up mannnnn! :D

just talk talk.

3 days and 9 hours of sleep. (: Cool, i'm either gonna evolved into a superwoman or a corpse.

By and large, it'll be the latter as i've been feeling rather sick these days. As of now, i so want to puke my guts out. haha. But ohs well.

Today i had a very interesting conversation with 3 of my friends. Guo Hwa was asking us what we would think of when we see coffee.

Ken: Bitter

Me: Makes me happy

Guo Hwa: Addictive.

Liang Yi: Grandmother.

Apparently, what we would think of when we see coffee is actually reflective of the sentiments we have or would have towards sex.

Our answers were all not politically correct but the one that amuses me the most till now would the the GRANDMOTHER answer. (: My friend thinks of grandmother when he thinks of sex.

Sounds terribly wrong des neh.

Yesterday, was a reunion of MAD4 - Mae Anthea Dolly and Loreen. We've been sisters since we were 13 and look as us now! 21 and looking not the least different from when we were 13. ha. who am i trying to kid. :) Learnt something: milk after uber-spicy-sze-chuan-chilli-soup is the key to a non-painful aftermath.

I wanna sleep now. I just came home from Timbre @ Substation a secluded pub tucked on the side of quiet Armanien Street. The drink was nothing to rave about, i got a medicine-tasting-lychee-freeze-that-costed-me-$14-blah- Despite so, i enjoyed my time there as the band was awesome! - The Goodfellas! - one of the best or even the best live-band i've ever watched perform. Shirley and The Unexpected is good too but the covers by The Goodfellas were more to my preference. Pity i had to leave earlier than my peeps as i was too tired (ha. how interesting this is right now as i blog)

i'm just plain talking. i'll go sleep now. Kohsuke and Kensuke comes in later!! (:

cheer up mae. (:

Actually, i had every intention of going to bed right now as i have a long day tomorrow. Demo, i received a message on my MSN whilst i was offline.

It reads "Mae san, why never update blog?"


Just for you (: I will blog.


Something odd happened today, before evening prayers started in our temple this evening, i suddenly felt very downcast and my mood became melancholic. For whatever reason, i'm not sure.


I was of course superbly overjoyed at the sight of our new temple and our wooden Joju-Gohonzon but my life condition today was a little on the wobbly side.


Anyway, what was important was that 'sad' moment of mine made me decide to CUT MY HAIR! hahaha :) Which was really a wise thing to do considering how much my hair's been looking like a bush these days. hehe!


After cutting thy hair, i reflected on that sudden sad moment (haha, being dramatic) and realised that probably i had been very self-centred in my thinking and thoughts these days. It was all about me me me and me.


Dwelling on trival matters of the heart. Dreading the day i leave Singapore. Lamenting about how much i miss school and all the gibberish about missing the intellectual environment of school. Meandering through my days in boredom and refusing to do any productive.


**Dang** the above has been what i have been doing these days.


How frigging irresponsible i have been leading my life like that?


No more irresponsible living from tomorrow onwards.


I'm disappointed with myself.


How did i like myself become so narrow-minded?



I'm looking forward to my brand new day with my brand new HAIRCUT. hahaha!! :D
Hopefully, i can keep my hair looking like that for many days to come. (: YA YA! I know! Its definite HIGH TIME for a change yeah peeps :)

yes. And everything commences now.

(:

Fighto!

Breakthrough! I fixed my laptop! hahaha

Hohoho! I've fixed my laptop - single-handedly! I have two relatively-tech savvy (relative to me :P) brothers but i think they couldn't care less and left me in the deep blue sea. And so, after HOURS AND HOURS of messing with my DELL; i've finally trouble-shooted everything. HA!

From being absolutely technologically-challenged to being less of a klutz with computers. An achievement for me indeed :)

I'm starting to fill this bond with my laptop after the hours and hours meddling with it. I had entertained the thought of changing my laptop. But looking back now, me deeming it 'inefficienct' may have stemmed from my very own impaitence. (-_-)

(: From today, i'll treasure my laptop even more.

Thank goodness for online-help forums and my laptop's hardiness. :) I once crashed my friend's laptop with a single light touch of my finger and now things are looking a little more hopeful for me.

*grins. okay, fine i'm making a hooha out of a little small achievement of mine.

But, by gholly it sure feels good fixing the damn problem (:

hmm.. the weather's been pretty bad this few days. It has been raining heavily today again..Singapore's been kinda cold these days. Hope it stops soon, i have to be out this evening and the weather is dampening my spirits.

haha. But, no excuses. Gotta go get ready now (: Ciaoz!

Cantonese and me.

I was borned and raised in a Hokkien-speaking family. Though, till this day i
m unclear whether the words that sprout out from my mouth is authentic Hokkien, Singaporean Hokkien (one that the Taiwanese people can't understand) or the Teochew-kena-mixed-with-Hokkien kinda Hokkien.

But one thing's for sure.

I SURE don't speak any Cantonese!

Imh Sek Teng, Imh Sek Kong or in my own grandparents' tongue "Buay hiao tia, buay hiao kong." The only Cantonese i know is limited to "wheres the toilet" "go to hell" and whatever Dim Sum food name there is.

Now, I'm gonna to embark on the impossible and that is to learn Cantonese. Truth be told, i have no interest whatsoever in the Cantonese language. Not that i have anything against it or anything, just that i'm totally clueless and am an absolute NOOB in it and i have yet to master my own dialect. Hence, i am a bit hesitant. But, i took a leap of faith and yesterday i was trying to communicate in basic Cantonese with some of my choir mates.

One of them thought i was speaking Korean!!!! (o.O)??

I then turn to an Uncle nearby and spoke to him and he understood only 1/10 of what i was trying to tell him!!

How encouraging eh!

haha (: Anything tough is always worth a fight eh!
Anyway, Hong Kong and Guangzhou is the land of the speaking Cantonese campaigns so i better fight hard.

Any Cantonese speaking friends out there???

jit bai jiat lat liao la.

The Spirit of the Hokkeko.

The last two days and past weekends, a placed dubbed SPIKO - Spirit of Hokkeko - has been our lil' home. We spend our whole weekends in SPIKO- eating together, sleeping together and practicing our cultural items together. Normally, spending so much time with people, and the SAME people for that matter, would invariably bring out the worse in everybody. Arguments have a tendency to escalate into fights when everyone starts taking everyone else for granted and the environment for granted.

Interestingly, what is happening is quite the opposite in a place called SPIKO. (: SPIKO is bringing out the best in everyone and maybe it has something to do with the place being called The Spirit of the Hokkeko. What an apt name :)

Being in The Spirit Of Hokkeko aka SPIKO brings out the best in everyone. We see everyone, from the main performers to the unsung heroes - the nannies and the logistics personnel tirelessly doing their best just to deliver a seamless and perfect performance.

It was nerve-wrecking for me during the evening's rehearsal; i had to conduct the choir as our conductor was away this weekend.

It was nerve-wrecking because i knew nothing about music and i had to lead my choir on the front. But guess what, at the end of the day, they were guiding me and not me them. (: My worries unfounded eh, this is a performance of faith and all i have to do is to have faith, not in them, but in what binds us all in a common spirit - that of the Hokkeko's.

:)

Come sunday will be the most beautiful day of my life and because of our faith, to all 300 performers- it will be the most perfect day.

Practice, Protect, Propagate.